


Khajiit Has a Story to Tell

by orphan_account



Category: Elder Scrolls V: Skyrim
Genre: Gen, One Shot, Short One Shot, Solitude (Elder Scrolls), Thieves Guild (Elder Scrolls) - Freeform
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-08-19
Updated: 2020-08-19
Packaged: 2021-03-05 22:20:29
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 717
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/25982740
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/orphan_account/pseuds/orphan_account
Summary: Khajiit botched an attempt to steal wine. Gulum-Ei will pay for the mess he got him into, but Khajiit must first get something off his chest.
Kudos: 3





	Khajiit Has a Story to Tell

"This one recently attempted to steal a case of firebrand wine for Gulum-Ei. He got the wine but got carried away robbing random people for their pots and pans and precious books. Khajiit did not care what he took from the rich peoples of Solitude. He needed the money and turned the city upside down in the process.

"Khajiit was found out by several people in an inn for stealing a wheel of cheese. _Cheese_ , he tells you. If only people knew how much he values it. It is both nutritious and delicious. He can smell it now. It's calling for him…

"…He appears to be getting carried away. Let us continue this story before he starts drooling. It would not be a pretty sight, he tells you. He feels hostility toward the mere sight of drool.

"The citizens and the guards chose to be offended by Khajiit taking a wheel of cheese. They chased him all throughout the city. He managed to make them turn on each other with some well-timed fury spells and fled into some conveniently-placed catacombs.

"There were vampires, of all things, hiding in those catacombs along with the undead. Khajiit was weak from being shot and stabbed and had to outwit them. He managed to trap a vampire in a room by messing around with some switches. Vile _thing._ He hopes that it withers away to nothing in there. He also used the various pillars and walls in the catacombs against the endless hordes of draugr. He shot them with his one-and-only flames spell until they all died. Khajiit was mad and is still mad at himself for not studying more magic before coming to Skyrim. He also contracted that vile vampire disease…

"Khajiit's memory escapes him. What do they call it again? …"Sanguinare Vampiris"?

"Ah, there it is. Thank you, kind stranger. I am growing weaker from Sanguinare Vampiris with every passing moment we speak here in the blinding sun. Let us find some shade before the story continues, yes?

"Gods damn this disease. Khajiit is going straight to the Temple of the Divines once he is done speaking with you.

"Khajiit walked in on a strange being known as Potema, who may be related to some old queen. He does not know much about Skyrim's history and he does not care to learn it. What matters is that the undead witch called upon an undead army and he was forced to flee again. He hid on top of some strange structure with a horn, he believes, jutting out of it. Some Nordic burial statue, he supposes. From atop there, he slow-roasted the draugrs to death with his one-and-only flames spell.

"When Potema saw that she was beaten by an unfortunate thief, she disappeared to parts unknown. This one is not afraid to call her a coward. He would not have hesitated to beat her to death since he already went through so much to get through that forsaken tomb. At least he was able to escape from it with his life and some precious treasure, yes… Minus the cheese. Khajiit had to eat it to prevent himself from starving. He wishes he could have enjoyed that wheel of deliciousness in peace.

"And all of this because of some wine that tastes like someone took a dump in the sands of Khajiit's homeland. Yes, he took a sip or two of the godsforsaken drink while waiting for those damn draugrs to die. It may be a special brew, but after what he tasted he would not mind if the case carelessly slipped from his claws and smashed all over the ground.

"Khajiit will have nasty words for that stupid lizard Gulum-Ei after he rids himself of this nasty vampirism and deals with Solitude's awfully-vulgar guardsmen. No, sirs, Khajiit would not make a fine rug. It would not feel good on a man's bare feet, for his fur is cut far too short and feels too rough to even him.

"Do not be surprised if Khajiit's words with Gulum-Ei involve a dagger to the throat or him cracking these wine bottles over his ugly head. He does not care anymore for what the Thieves Guild will think of him for such an act. Let them all rot in the depths of Oblivion."


End file.
